Cookie Monstrosity

I was recently offered a cookie by a lovely woman who kept a whole bag of them in her purse at all times. This wasn't just any 105-calorie cookie, it was a dry, timid excuse for chocolate chip. I'd just had my first experience with the COOKIE DIET, a curious weight-loss fad (though it's been around since the 70's) that involves eating six pre-packaged cookies a day in addition to a regular meal. In other words, it offers cookie monsters an opportunity to satisfy their sweet teeth while only consuming about 1,000 calories a day. Sounds like a great idea to me! Who needs meals?

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We know better than this. Plant-based food, people. Stick with actual meals and enjoy an Oreo when necessary. But for the most part, try to avoid eating items that come out of a box. Or a purse.

Soy Vey!

We're more than halfway through National Vegetarian Awareness Month, and the big question is: How are YOU celebrating? By going raw? By going green? By going to Peter Luger's?

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Vegetarianism has many faces - be it a vegan student majoring in women's studies at a college in the Hudson Valley, a raw food chef in the Bay Area who hasn't heated enzymes in three decades, or some guy at Whole Foods in Union Square eyeing the buffet's barbecue seitan. Could you eliminate all animal product from your diet, happily feasting on xylem and phloem tubes or developing a huge hankering for almond milk with your oats? And if you could, why would you want to?

It's a valid question. May I now present to you a valid answer (a whole list of them).

Sex Cells

A study conducted by Samsung recently revealed that nearly 1/3 of Chicagoans prefer their cell phones to sex partners. The survey indicated that 3 in 10 participants (emailed at random) would rather give up sex for a year than abstain from their phone activity for the same amount of time. What does this say about the sociology of technology? What does it say about the city of Chicago?

Another interesting little statistic revealed by this study: More than half of those preferring texts over sex were women. That's right - it's two for the price of one for the lady who'd rather the phone and sets it to vibrate.

Clover And Out

Tooty-fruity tobacco, no more. With the recent enactment of a law banning clove and fruit-flavored cigarettes, the FDA has now sent out a letter warning all tobacco companies tobacc...off! It comes as no surprise that cigarettes designed to taste as sweet as candy appeal to a certain young, impressionable population. According to the FDA's Center for Tobacco Products, 17-year old smokers are thrice as likely to smoke cloves and fruit-flavored cigarettes than 25-year olds. And I'm sure if they were to further investigate, those 25-year olds quite enjoyed flavored tobacco products when they were 17. So besides the obvious - that smoking cigarettes is an effective way to shorten one's life - I'm sort of curious about when these sweet ciggy enthusiasts shift into the stale stink of plain cigarettes.

Celebrate National Yoga Month

If you've been looking for the perfect excuse to get to yoga class, go no further. September is National Yoga Month, and what better way to celebrate than to roll out a sticky mat and fire up your pranayama? You don't have to be an advanced yogi (or even touch your toes) to experience the many proven benefits of developing a regular practice... so no excuses! Check this out this list of 50 health conditions improved by yoga according to multiple scientific studies -- everything from insomnia to infertility. If you've simply fallen off the dharma bandwagon this summer, commit to yoga for this entire month -- whether you're maintaining a daily practice or attending a weekly class. Make Sept 1 your new Jan 1!

You're Gonna Carry That Weight A Long Time...

... but only if you exercise on a regular basis. Sort of. An increasing number of dietary experts claim that exercising your demons may, in fact, backfire - in a big way. How could this be if so many people keep off unwanted pounds by spending hours at the gym each week?

As was demonstrated on CBS's "The Early Show" this morning, a workout often causes a workup (of appetite) that results in caloric consumption which often surpasses what Sally just burned during her spin class.

Fact: Daily yoga classes will not compensate for nightly Cinnabons.

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Save that bun-of-sin for rare occasions (or the next time you have time to kill in an airport). Instead, stick with the power yoga but ease up on whatever post-workout snack or meal you're planning to devour. Keep in mind that your hour-long workout is probably burning no more than 500 calories, so sate your ravenous hunger thoughtfully.

Conserve your health as much as your wealth. Now go hit the gym!

Is H1N1 The New Y2K?

So far, 75 countries have been affected. And with over 35,000 confirmed cases and 165 confirmed deaths (23 in NYC alone), the World Health Organization recently declared H1N1 a global pandemic. Do these alarming numbers serve to warn us of the harmful effects of globalization? We've seen how the economic meltdown has affected everyone from New York to New Zealand and how political breakdown in some countries have only worsened with international intervention, but will it a take a worldwide health scare such as this, to slow down the ever-rapid pace of interconnectedness? Perhaps H1N1 will go down in the books as another Y2K phenomenon, a perceived time bomb that luckily never exploded. Or perhaps it's time to start planning that stay-cation.

Elder Flower

... is one way of saying "83-year old in padmasana" (lotus pose).

Exhibit A: Bette Calman, an Australian octogenarian, has been practicing yoga since the 1950's, teaching yoga for 40 years, while enjoying advanced poses (arm balances, binds, and inversions) well into her eighth decade - by attending/teaching class up to 11 times a week! The Ozzie Yogi insists, "You're never too old. The body is a remarkable instrument." Perhaps even more incredible than her still-strong holistic practice, is the age that she began her yogic journey. (after doing the math, it seems that Bette began practicing in her early 40's).

So the next time you feel too old and out of shape to give yoga a shot, think of our friend down under -- throwing her legs up and over!

Sun of a ...

A spate of recent surveys sheds light on why white, middle class men over 50 account for half of all melanoma fatalities in the U.S., whereas women seem more likely to engage in self-detection and/or seek medical care for suspicious moles and skin growths. Some men pride themsleves on their outta sight outta mind approach, but guys - turn around in the mirror and check out what's happening back there!

The study notes that doctors are more likely to detect and treat early-stage melanoma in patients who:

A) have prior (family) knowledge of skin cancer

B) have a personal history of atypical moles

But that doesn't help the less than 50% of men who never check their own skin for symptoms or the less than 20% who don't even know what the warning signs are.

Since the majority of men already spend quite a bit of time examining themselves, regularly inspecting the skin for irregularities should be a no-brainer.

(Insert Semi-Clever Dog Pun Here)

Looking for an excuse to get into a yoga routine? Behold, the power of doga. You and your beloved canine can now enjoy the many benefits of yoga together (better posture? inner peace? reduced anxiety when visiting the vet?), according to this newest wave of yoga practitioners. Doggie yoga has been catching on in cities such as New York, Los Angeles, and Pittsburgh - though I would have guessed Sedona, AZ, along with any other energy vortexes. Both owners and yoga teachers agree that partnering with pooches creates an incredibly relaxing experience by "honoring where your dog is {in his or her doga practice} and remembering that dogs respond to our energy."

Doggie Yogis May Experience:
-A Sense Of Ease
-Enlightenment
-Tail Wagging

Yogi Doggie Owners May Enjoy:
-Furry Yoga Props
-Mind-Body Balance
-Meeting Others Of Wack Mind

At the very least, owners will have an opportunity to train their yogi puppies to sit, roll over, and namaste.